Wednesday, October 6, 2010

i need to be better...

Today as I was driving to work with the lady I work with, Karen, whom I hardly know. I realized that even though we are years apart we are both moms that pretty much have the same struggles in life. It was one thing in particular actually that we were talking about. You see Karen is a convert just like me and well her husband although he came from a LDS family, never was really active. Or as active as others I should say. She started telling me about her 7 kids and how they blame her for certain things that happened in their life. How they didn't read the scriptures every morning or have family home evening every week like the other kids. And she tells me that she tried to do her best. And with her husband not home for about 2 years as he worked in another state and dealing with everyone it was hard and she did what she could. This is actually been something that I have been struggling with myself. I beat my self up every week (sometimes every day). The busy rush of every morning - breakfast, brush teeth, make your bed, get dressed, do hair, lunch boxes in backpacks and then its hurrying them out the door before they miss the bus. And then once they are gone I get bummed because I didn't get to do scriptures with them or have a prayer. I know that most of you are really good at this. I am not! I am really trying to be better at this, I really am.

Then, Karen brought up the point that she didn't grow up like this (remember I said she was a convert) and her husbands family never did it either when he was growing up so its not something that is out of the ordinary for him either. But when its two parents working together that grew up the same way, I think its easier. Now, I'm not saying that is the case for every one of you. Because some of you didn't grow up with it either and you are good at doing all of those important things and its not my excuse....or maybe it is...and I'm not saying that Jared and I don't work to gether at this. It is just something I need to get in the habit of DOING. I really admire all of you that are so good at this.

My point is, I really hope and pray that I am doing a good job. Us moms are always beating ourselves up about what we are not doing and this is mine. I hope that one day my kids aren't going to come to me and tell me that I am the reason that they are a certain way and ask why I didn't read the scriptures with them everyday and have family prayer everyday (does family prayer include saying it before meals? just curious). Like I said, its something that I am working on. It's not like I don't do it at all I'm just not consistent. Overall, I think I am a pretty good mom and that is just one thing I am lacking.

By the way....I did FHE with them on Monday (WHOO HOO for me!) and they said it didn't count because dad wasn't there. Geez kids don't I get credit for trying! We still did it and made these yummy treats. We are going to have FHE again tonight with dad though since he will be home.

11 comments:

Crazy Lady said...

renee, we all feel like this. i can always do better. i think maybe i didn't like the way my parents did it (inconsistent) which sounds so rude cause i have great parents so thats why i'm trying to do it differently. each generation improves upon the one upon it.

if any of our kids say anything close to anything like this I will come spank them and tell them to be glad they didn't grove up starving in africa. the bottom line is, we are here, we are trying and they are loved, which a thousand times luckier than most of the kids of the world. tell your kids that my dad was never ever home and my mom did it all on her own.

Amber said...

I think all we can do is try to do our best. That's what Heavenly Father expects from us. That we at least try. So don't beat yourself up because you aren't perfect. None of us are.

On another note, when did you start working? I am SO behind. Where do you work? And who watches your little ones.

AND, those yummy treats look quite delicious. I'm gonna have to make those here pretty soon. Thanks!

Oh and I think meal prayers are different from family prayer time, but if you only get meal prayers in during the day, you're still doing great! It's a work in progress. And my dad wasn't around much for scripture time or FHE either. Yay for you for doing it on your own.

Renee said...

Since Jared is slow on Wednesday, Thursday and Fridays to where he can take the boys with him I figured I would get a job cleaning houses. I only work a couple of hours a day. Its not that bad actually.

Jenny Dahl said...

Renee you're amazing! All I can say is you'll never regret doing it. Some weeks you'll make yummy treats and other weeks they'll all be fighting while you're trying to teach them about being reverent. But you'll never have to wonder "what if I would have?" Love you.

shawna said...

hey renee. . . i need your number! we need to talk. or cry together. i feel the same way!
but seriously. . fb message me your number

Beth said...

I feel ya Renee. One thing for me being a convert, a lot of times I look to my past and am nostalgic about certain things with my family that I want to incorporate with my own kids now - none of it being FHE, family scriptures, and prayer b/c we didn't do that when I was little (or big). Until now. It doesn't come naturally to me and all b/c you convert to the church doesn't mean that all of that stuff comes naturally all of a sudden after you get baptized (too bad, huh? I wish it did b/c I'm not good at it either). I need to create the habit. And it definitely helps to have Adam's help b/c I don't have a long history of trying to include these things in my life. I don't know if any of that makes sense?? I do know that when we are able to have a good FHE it is really nice and my kids love it, too. Gotta get better, but I do know that we're trying and you are too!!

Jodi said...

Renee - You are a great mom and doing the best that you can! One thing that worked for me on busy, busy days is to do a "scripture picture" I bought a gospel art kit (from the distribution center) and just pull out a picture and read the back to the kids while their eating breakfast. Simple, easy and short - perfect for busy mornings! Hang in there!!

Renee said...

Thanks ladies! I love and admire you all!

Renee said...

By the way Jodi...that is a great idea! I will try that! Thanks.

Carlye said...

Wow! You all are great mothers! And as someone that spends most her time with teenagers, the most important thing you can do for your kids is... spend time with them! Make them feel like you always have time for them. Use teaching moments, ordinary life experience to point to Christ! As teenagers come through my life and I hear there perspective of a good parent, it isn't "we read scriptures everyday for 10 minutes" or "every Monday night we had FHE". What I hear is this, "I knew my Mom loved me and loved the Savior". "My Dad isn't perfect, but I knew he was trying". "My mom would just ask me questions about my day".
My parents were not perfect, and rarely did we do as other "Mormons" but I always knew they loved me because they spent time with me. Knowing your parents love you leads you to believe your Heavenly Parents could too.
And you know what... I think I turned out alright!
You do what you can and trust the rest to the Lord!

BTW, I wish I was a MOM :)

RachelAnne said...

You shouldn't beat yourself up as long as you're making an honest effort. Not LDS, but we did family devotions every night after dinner growing up and now that I'm home again, I realize how much I missed it. I know I'll try incorporating it into my family (once I get one, that is) and I think you'll be able to get it going too.

Just hang in there and keep up the good work. You have wonderful kids and are a wonderful mother :)